With Two You Get Logrolled

"Really, Kevin? Are you sure you didn't volunteer to do this for some reason that made sense at the time but now it doesn't and you can't remember why so you just want out?" Anita tilted her head to the side to wait for Kevin's response.

"Anita, it is really annoying when you act like you know what I'm thinking."

"But I do know what you're thinking.You're incredibly predictable, but you knew that"

Both of them turned to Emily, who was sitting with her back to them, pretending to watch TV.

"Emily? Oh God, Emily. You're just watching that to look at Donal Logue. Chubby chaser.."

Kevin tapped on the back of the chair and flicked a lock of her hair with two fingertips.

"The only reason I'm letting this go is it's distracting you two from that insane thing you're suggesting and no, no, no, no. The answer is still no. I do not want to go watch The Cowboy sing sensitive acoustic jangly songs about Jesus. I mean...It's not me he wants there anyway. Right?"

Anita blew a raspberry and jiggled the ice in her glass. "The Cowboy wants Kevin for a rainbow. By the way, does he have a name or does he just go as 'The Cowboy'?"

Kevin sighed and threw up his hands. "Okay, here's the thing. I didn't volunteer so much as I agreed to do this because The Cowboy's agent called my editor and specifically asked for me to come review his set. Boss wants to keep the agent happy. What else was I going to say?"

"Would it ease the sting of rejection if I told all two of my listeners to read your interview?" Anita asked.

"Anita, you have to come with."

"Come with you?"

"Yes. And Emily, you too. Maybe it will keep him off my ass."

Emily rubbed her temples and sighed. "Kevin, do you think he's going to see the two of us with you and suddenly hopped the fence and started dating women?"

"I don't know," said Anita, You did boff The Cowboy for...How many months was it?"

"Not helping," Emily sighed and rolled her eyes at Anita, who gave them a fairly pointless thumbs up and went into the kitchen. "You and I know this is a romantic gesture. Even if he's not consciously aiming for that, there is some part of him that thinks you will make eye contact from across the room and magic will happen."

"I don't quite follow you, sweetie."

"Sometimes the truth can be hard to take, in the abstract sense. If he sees you and it is obvious there's no chemistry, he'll get it and move on."

Kevin took a deep breath. "You think it's that simple?"

"I don't know, My experience with romance is pretty limited. I let someone know I'm here, I'm available, and I like them. If there's no interest, I forget about it. End of story."

"And you've never harbored some hope..Wished on a star, lit a candle, thrown cards over and over, hoping it would work out? You don't even get your feelings hurt?"

"Of course I do. But you know? It's, hmm, looking for the right word here...It's disrespectful to just expect someone to return your interest just because you want them to. What about their feelings?"

"You have this down to a social formula."

"It's simple good manners or decency. Maybe. If I am interested in someone, it's because I really like the whole person. It means respecting the fully vested human being who won't like me back instead of objectifying a romanticized fetish object."

"And you think The Cowboy is going to think that way?"

Emily shrugged.. "I don't know."

"Come with me," Kevin pleaded, "I really, really don't want to go to this alone."

"Can't I just leave a comment on the website?"

"Emileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"I'll use some of Dave's sock puppet accounts and leave you a bunch of likes."


copyright 2015 Jas Faulkner/Zen Dixie